The industry standard in treatment modalities for mental health and substance abuse are based on behavior modification. Modifying behavior is like trying to paint over a rusty car or trying to repair a part that really just needs replacement or a complete tested relationship-building overhaul. The biggest problem with attempting to change someone else’s actions or behaviors is that there has to be a subjective judgment of what is right or wrong according to who or what standard?
Heart Transformation® Therapy (HTT) is a spiritually, relationship-based treatment modality devoid of judgment and performance expectations that produce amazing transformation in the emotions of the heart and the thoughts of the mind. As a byproduct, behavioral change follows.
HTT does not attempt to modify behavior. It opens the heart and mind of the patient to perceive love and acceptance. This is accomplished through proven and tested relationship-building techniques. This results in behavioral change but not always according to someone else’s standards or timeframe. Accusing, nagging, lecturing, preaching, indoctrinating and imposing one’s own moral standards only closes the heart from receiving the well-intended advice.
HTT training offers exercises for caregivers to develop and grow character traits such as love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness and self-control. Here are a few examples of why the burden of patient transformation relies on the caregiver to exercise character in their counseling:
Love is giving perceived affection when someone doesn’t deserve it. Brody is addicted to cocaine and has promised his father, Bill, that he would quit. Not knowing his dad would be home early, Brody is caught high again and feels guilty. Bill is trained in HTT and learned that his choice of words matters. Instead of reacting, he responds, “Brody, I want you to know that I am not disappointed in you and I am not mad. I love you and whenever you feel like talking about it, I’ll be here for you no matter how many times it takes before you’re over it.” Bill goes back to watching T.V. as if nothing ever happened. Brody is bewildered that his dad is not angry. All of a sudden he experiences the sobering high of God’s love which makes his cocaine high seem like a cheap rip off.
Joy is happiness drawn from within, regardless of what is happening without and expressed to remove sadness in others. Hayley is depressed because she is overweight and feels ugly. She meets Jill, her life specialist, on an HTT video phone app because she is confident that Jill will cheer her up without lecturing her about overeating. Hayley sheepishly tells Jill that she indulged in overeating junk food once again for the umpteenth time. Sure enough, Jill’s facial expressions and spirit reflect excitement and happiness as they converse about unrelated things. Hayley experiences a dose of joy. The overwhelming joy gives her the fuel, encouragement and supernatural desire to eat better for that day instead of giving up. Hayley now has an open heart and wants advice from Jill about nutrition and exercise.
Peace is maintaining a sound mind regardless of circumstances and giving security to those who are suffering from confusion, worry, and anxiety, Chase has had numerous panic attacks. He suffers from severe anxiety and is threatening to commit suicide. He meets, Tim, his youth pastor at Starbucks and, as usual, Tim’s calm attitude and peaceful tone of voice bring Chase to a place of peacefulness. Tim could have shown worry and fear and desperately tried to dissuade Chase but instead laughed and talked about their favorite comedy series on Netflix over cold frappuccinos. Chase commented to Tim that he always feels better when they hang out and wanted to know his secret. Tim was patiently waiting for the opportunity to teach him how to access the heart transformation videos, music and tools that he uses to inspire and encourage himself every day.
Goodness is expressed through acts of perceived kindness to those who don’t deserve it. Agnes has diabetes and can’t stop eating a whole bag of sugar-filled donuts. Since goodness is giving undeserved kindness, her sister Felicia, says, with a smile, “I bet those donuts tasted great. Hey, you only live once.” As in times past prior to Felicia’s training in HTT, Agnes expected Felicia to say something like, “Agnes, you’re never going to change until you make up your mind. What’s so hard about just saying no? Soon, they will amputate your legs or you’ll die of a heart attack. O well.” Agnes senses the goodness of God which causes her to have a change of mind and a change of heart about her health.
Gentleness is taking responsibility for how others perceive your affection by controlling your voice tone, body language, inner attitude, and word choice. Caleb was a very angry boy. He was easily offended and would lose friends easily. William resided with Caleb in an HTT recovery home. Both boys received mediation coaching and conflict resolution training. During their sessions, they both learned to communicate responsibly by using the four-point checklist; voice tone, body language, inner attitude, and word choice. With the help of their HTT Life Specialist, they were able to resolve many boyhood conflicts and developed a healthy friendship. Their parents also learned these techniques and were amazed at how they were able to have a loving relationship with their boys.
Faith is always giving someone another chance and believing in them again, assuring them that everything will turn out great. Tania has a history of making poor choices when it comes to boyfriends. She thought she could win her new boyfriend’s loyalty by getting pregnant. She soon discovered how wrong she was after he found out and left her. Tania independently aborted the fetus and is now suffering from guilt, shame, and condemnation. Tania’s counselor, Gina, is certified in HTT. In their weekly counseling session, she encouraged Tania to have faith that all things, good and bad, work together for the good and that even the worst experiences and the poorest of choices could not define her identity. Nor was it the basis for her demise. Tania left the counseling office that day knowing that Gina’s thoughts about her were good ones and not evil. Tania felt encouraged that her dreams were still a possibility and that life was not over for her.
Meekness is yielding one’s power and rights to esteem someone else. Jeff had been married for ten years and was a great provider. Maria enjoyed being a stay at home mom. He felt that he did not have to help around the house because he provided a good life for his family and that it was Maria’s sole responsibility to care for the affairs of the home. One day Jeff woke up to his wife asking for a divorce. He sought out HTT for help. He learned to take responsibility for how his wife perceived his expressions of love instead of relying on his own opinions and feelings on how he expressed them. He started observing and listening for the simple things that made her happy. In times past, he discounted them because, as a man, they made no sense to him. One of those things was, she would regularly ask him to help wash dishes after dinner. She felt that it was a special way that they could continue their bond after dinner and after watching TV. It never occurred to him that washing dishes and cleaning up right before bedtime was something that made her feel loved and appreciated which in turn would arouse romantic feelings in her. Both Maria and Jeff began outdoing each other as they discovered ways that they could make one another happy.
Forbearance is enduring long-suffering and painstaking emotions for as long as it takes for selfishness to die and love to arise. Luis was fourteen years old when his mother contacted Robert about his problems with delinquency. It all started with graffiti then truancy and eventually escalated to extreme gang violence, crime, and drug addiction. Throughout the years there were times when Luis did good and many dark times when he relapsed. Everyone either feared Luis, were hurt by him, gave up on him or just didn’t care. Today, Luis is a powerful testimony of a transformed life and one of Robert Torres’ first disciples and best friends.
Telling people what to do and what behaviors to change is not the best approach. Loving them the way God loves is, however, an absolute must; something that religion has fallen short in teaching. Of course, there is a time and place for teaching and instructing skills and mindsets necessary to bring about change, but not until there is an open heart. That is earned by developing a relationship and building trust. Just watch some of our testimonials on https://hearttransformation.com. The methods are biblically-based but not religious, and the results are scientific.
I make a great argument, in stating that I truly believe that I have discovered the science of love. When love is understood and administered properly, it can transform the emotions of the heart and the thoughts of the mind in the patient. Most caregivers do it on accident without knowing the science behind it. If men were conscious of this, they would know how to melt the hearts of their lovers every time even if the woman is in a bad mood. I hope to speak about this on TEDTalk one day. HTT is most effective when it is administered by a trained caregiver such as a family member, friend or a type of life coach. It is best in a casual social setting whether in person or through our secure HIPAA compliant social media platform. The app includes video, audio or texting for individuals or groups. People tend to be less inhibited when communicating on social media.
Doctors, licensed mental health, and substance abuse professionals, oftentimes, are constrained by DSM standards and board regulations in how they can or cannot administer therapy. Life coaches and spiritual guides, on the other hand, have much more liberty because they can access their own inner common sense (which I call spiritual sense) without the restrictions and fears that government compliance and big corporations impose upon them.
Religious leaders can also administer this therapy but they, too, have limitations similar to licensed counselors except their restrictions come from a hierarchy of leaders, antiquated doctrines, and their constituency. Religion like the government is intertwined in politics and very divided. I speak from experience having planted four churches, preached around the world and held credentials with four of the most prestigious religious organizations in the world.
In 2012, I walked away from my particular religious affiliations (not my faith in God) because of some of the man-made laws, judgments, and discriminations which were keeping people in bondage to fear, guilt, shame and the illusion of being rejected by God. I decided to open a mental health practice called CARES Treatment. I obtained a residential treatment State license and was accredited by the world-renowned and prestigious CARF International in partial hospitalization, residential treatment and intensive outpatient treatment for children and adults. I obtained my certification as a mental health technician and employed a medical director (psychiatrist), a clinical director, a registered nurse, several licensed mental health and substance abuse counselors.
Once I completed the highly profitable but rigorous process of credentialing so that I could start submitting insurance claims, I discovered something I already knew deep down inside. Heart Transformation therapy produces signs of happiness, joy, peace and the perception of feeling loved and accepted. Well, time after time we kept seeing positive results after the patient’s initial encounter with their certified HTT intake or life specialist. Afterward, the patient had to undergo a psych evaluation but by now they no longer exhibited signs that would justify “medical necessity” and insurance companies won’t pre-authorize without it. In short, medical necessity is determined if the patient expresses a potential for self-harm or harm to others. Even if they did pre-authorize, they would not re-authorize by the next utilization review which usually happens within 3-5 days max, because by then the patient would have progressed due to HTT.
What I’ve always believed to be true was now confirmed. The mental health industry is in business because people stay ill and dependent. Don’t get me wrong, Blue Cross Blue Shield absolutely loves us and recognizes our good work. However, healing people is not how money is made in this industry. I am now walking away from the conventional practice of mental health. I am now compelled to provide training and support to anyone who has a desire to heal a patient in any sort of crisis to any degree. I am hoping to make this training available to parents, caregivers, coaches, clergy as well as mental health and substance abuse professionals. Each profession I mentioned has some variations with respect to their approach to care. And, in my opinion, a parent is the worthiest profession in need of professional training.